If I ever need to be quickly horrified
I just imagine my father's face right before he died
You can spend entire weekends counting breaths
But you never know the last one until after there's none left
And if I ever ache to feel less alone
I just pretend that this house that I hate is a home
Where I pay no man to contract my existence
Divided monthly, cause that ain't living
Rachel from the bar says I’m good
So why don't I feel good?
Michelle from next door comes by for quarters
Calls me an asshole
I'll buy my drinks from her for the rest of the night
And probably the rest of my life
If I ever dreamed of leaving this old town
I’d probably never find a reason quite as good as hanging around
Cause there's nowhere to escape the blooming history
I was never convinced when they said that they missed me
So if I ever ache to feel less alone
I just remember my life before your heart made a home
In the caverns of my blood, skin, and bones
Rachel from the bar says I'm good
But tonight, I don't feel good
An old Asian woman gestures for a light
I say alright, and then I go upstairs